Love as Shri Krishna taught me!!
Love is the best of the all emotions humans experience. Love is living for others, thinking for others, doing for others. Love is the other person, not I, not me. Love is.. when you forget yourself fully, and you remember only.. the other person. The needs of other person, the desires and wishes and goals, and aims of the other person. When we don’t bind the other person to ourselves, instead, we push the other person towards his or her success, duty, goal, wishes etc.
What is Love? This is a subjective question and no objective answer is quoted in any of the texts worldwide. Hence, I say, that there’s a perceived definition of love by the society. Semantically, the definition is a perception by the society, which may be the reality, may be not. Generally, it is perceived that love is made up of two separate entities; firstly Love, pure love, true love, when you live for the other person, secondly Lust, physical love, infatuation, crush, SEX etc. But here in India, Shri Krishna (The most Complex GOD ever been on Earth) is thought to be the Doctor of Philosophy on this subject. People are confused what is the actual definition of Raas Leela. Should it be taken as positive that He loved all, or it is something else. Let us put some light on, such a LOVE which is inconceivable by Aam Janta.!
Shri Krishna while describing Love to Radha preaches, that the pure love is adulterated with two very miscible emotions, which are
- प्रेम Love
- काम Lust
- मोह Possessiveness
You go and fly like a bird. I am there for you. I belong to you.
The first is the real pure unconditional Love. The love most talked about and yet grossly misunderstood. When we care for the other humans, in whatever form. It may be mother caring for the child, father caring for child, parent caring for each other, sister caring for brother or vice versa, teacher caring for students. And last but not least, the friendship. Friendship is the same love. मित्रता और ममता भी प्रेम ही हैं। Friends are also in love with each other, they care for each other, worry for each other, can kill for each other also. They stand with each other in the times of trouble. Such is the description of true love. We all have experienced such Love many a times, in many expressions, in many forms, from many sources. Do love others. People tend to confuse this pure love with adulterated love. Soon, this pious love and affection turns into ugly lust and other physical pursuits. For example, the love between Friends turns to be Homosexuality, the love between family turns to be incest, Oedipal-conflict or Electra-conflict. The love of teacher and student is confused with lust! This is the irony. Not understanding the pure emotion (I love you), and taking it for some other emotion (I want you) is wrong. I tell my students that yes, I love you all, but this is just pure love. The love which Shri Krishna taught. Yes, it is the same love, same degree, same care.
The second component is Lust. This is absolutely separate entity from Love. Lust has no concern with Love. But the society confuses a lot. Because for many people such activities have occurred only after Love Affairs. As though, both are absolutely different and may exist separately. Love without Lust is possible and clean and pure and true. Lust consists of body. People in India had been very enlightened earlier. The Old Bollywood movies which were majorly based on love stories, never had sexual content in them. They had always tried to depict only true love based on moral values. Lust is responsible for the commodification of women. How they look, fair complexion, what they wear, do they look like 36-24-36. This all is lust. Victoria Secret, Playboy, Item Songs in Bollywood, all is lust and not love. They are absolute lust. Although, not much is needed to be taught about lust; it’s been already so popular among youth. “Sex is fun” can be regarded as Lust. Lust is absolutely separate entity from Love. Yes, “lust” does have some significance too. Beware!
You are Mine
The third component is Possessiveness. The least described and the most unknown hence, the most lethal adulterant which adulterates the pure LOVE. Being possessive about the loved one is a common disposition. This quality has to be understood and known, otherwise this emotion is very elusive. The modern society has not yet recognized this emotion. The society is still ignorant about this. But as described in Bhagwat Puraan, this is one of the 5 worst psychological diseases: काम, क्रोध, मोह, लोभ, अहंकर। “मोह” it must be first understood properly. The English translation for मोह would be possessiveness. Human mind मन is very insecure of its ego, of it’s possessions. It wants to lock the things forever. It wants to possess as much as possible and boost its ego. People are possessive about the things they own like their car, house, money etc. Things are to be possessed, not humans. We are different. Right here, the commodification of women can also be associated. I own You. This is what मोह claims. You are Mine!! But pure love claims, I am yours. You go and fly like a bird. I am there for you.
This मोह is a big problem. It tends to bind the other person to you, and you to other person at the same time; resulting in losing freedom to some extent at both ends. It destroys her independence, and also, your independence is under scrutiny. Eventually, we end up trapped. Society becomes group, organization, many a times disciplined but not free. The freedom of being human is lost. The freedom which God gave us, to take our own decisions, is gone. “It’s my life” is gone. Because your lover now owns you, rules you, possesses you!! There was a girl I know from my home town. She got a high rank in CAT (exam for MBA in India). She could have gone to some good college, but not near to the town. Her parents were possessive about her. They refused. This is the main problem because of this मोह. One feel like all your life belongs to me. “I care for you, hence, you cannot make any decision about your life without asking me.!! Because other people are immoral and have worse design for our women, our women must never go to market alone, they should stay at home always, you want something, let me know.” This is the logic and rationale behind Burkha in Islam, and copied and executed by Hindus as Parda Pratha.!! Boundation..!!! “मोह का बंधन” Are’t you convinced that much of the evils faced by society today emerge from मोह or being possessive? Still this most harmful component of LOVE is elusive.
Nevertheless, the delicacy is prepared by using all the spices in right amounts.!!
LOVE, at best, is a moral value, something that makes us more human and lesser animal. Love makes us human. Caring, Sharing, Love. Love is a promise you make to yourself to take care of other without any condition, any benefit. The other two components do play some role in lives, and should not totally discredited or neglected. This possessiveness is not that worse. Sometimes it feels very good to see people possessive about yourselves. This reaffirms and reassures the lover’s love for you. Lust has it’s own importance.The pure love is adulterated with lust and then with possessiveness. This pure love component (i.e. LOVE without Lust and Possession) is Raas Leela. Shri Krishna doing raas leela with gopi was not a pack of desires, passions, infatuations, etc. It was the love, all humans must understand and do. It was not out of animal instincts, rather it was PURE LOVE. रास लीला is not character ढीला. It is the highest apostle of the morals.
This is Raas Leela
Such is Krishna
This is Krishna Leela